


Harley and the Chocolate Factory: A Valentine's Tale

by Sonia34



Category: Batman: The Animated Series
Genre: Chocolate, Crimes & Criminals, F/M, Fluff, Holidays, Romantic Gestures, Surprises, Sweet, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-01
Updated: 2016-11-01
Packaged: 2018-08-28 09:18:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 910
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8440030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sonia34/pseuds/Sonia34
Summary: The Joker never paid any attention to her on Valentine's Day... Why should this year be any different?





	

It was Valentine's Day, and to be perfectly honest, Harley wasn't expecting much. She had learned, over the years, that aside from rigging horrific, romance-themed crimes, The Joker saw no use in what to her was a very special day. Sure, her Puddin' was sweet as angel cake, but he had no interest in taking a day off in the name of love, to spend some time with his girl.

So, when she woke up, she wasn't too surprised when Joker said, "Get dressed, we have a heist to get to."

"Before breakfast?"

"Eat on the way!" Joker snapped, grabbing his coat and walking towards the door. Harley retreated into her room to get ready, yelling "where we going, Puddin'?"

"A chocolate factory!"

"Ooh—sweet! Not gonna bomb the place, are we?"

"No, just collect some supplies. You ready yet?"

"Just have to—ouff—uh—ouch—yeah!" Harley hopped into the room, putting on her black shoe. "So what's the plan?"

"I'll tell you in a minute. Get in the Jokermobile."

"Hmph," muttered Harley, tossing a slab of meat to Bud and Lou.

As Harley got into the car, Joker grumbled to himself. "She asks so many _questions_. How's a clown supposed to keep any secrets?"

"Coming Puddin'?"

"On my way, Poo!"

* * *

Light filtered peacefully into the grime-filled alleys as the Joker and his henchgirl road by. Harley had the window rolled down, and her arms crossed behind her head, feet tapping on the dashbboard as the Joker cycled through stations on the radio. "Ooh, stop it here!"

Joker narrowed his eyes. "I hate that song."

Harley sighed disappointedly. "Fine."

"But—er—I suppose we could listen through the first chorus..."

"Weee!" Harley spun the volume dial up. "So whatcha gonna do with our loot?"

"Well, seeing as everything's better dipped in chocolate, I was thinking to grab someone off the street and test the theory. It should make for some entertaining television."

"Can I knock out the pedestrian?" Harley lifted a punch gun from under her seat.

"Sure."

"Hey, is that the chocolate factory?"

"Yup!" Joker drove towards it, performing an expert double park. "Right in the middle!"

* * *

"Behind this door, ladies and gentleclowns, is more chocolate than you could ever imagine, hope for, or even eat!" Joker opened the door to the catwalk. He waved Harley in with a flourish, and she gasped. The catwalk spanned huge vats of chocolate, steaming upwards with the most heavenly scent she had ever smelled.

At the center of the walk was a round table with a white cloth, two chairs, and two covered plates next to glasses of sparkling champagne. Harley approached it, curiously.

"Looks like someone snuck in here for a Valentine's date."

Joker stepped up behind her, and she turned in time to see him pull a bouquet of roses from one sleeve. "Looks like they did."

"You mean...?"

"Happy Valentine's Day, Kiddo."

Harley yelped and enveloped Joker in a suffocating hug. Joker patted her on the back a few times, before stepping away and handing her the flowers.

"And look what I found lying around." He lifted the cover off one of the plates to reveal a small chocolate cake in the shape of a diamond. Before Harley could squeal again, there was a yell from a few feet away.

"Hey, no one's supposed to be—" Joker whipped his head around, and Harley spun on her foot.

"Th-The Joker... and Harley Quinn!" The guard's face paled before he took a deep breath. "Leave, or I'll call the cops."

"Brave, isn't he?" asked Harley.

"Stupidly so, poor soul." Joker replied, staring the guard in the eyes.

The man drew his gun and pointed it at the duo. "Put. Your hands. Up."

Joker winked at Harley.

"Well, if you insist," she said, raising her arms into the air, dropping her bouquet, and launching herself into a cartwheel, knocking the man to the floor.

"This date's going better than I expected!" Joker exclaimed.

"Uh, a little help, Mistah J?"

"Hmm? Oh. Get your hands off her!" Joker rushed forwards, grabbing a gun from under his coat and pointing it at the guard's face. The man let go of Harley's arm.

"D-don't hurt me! I'll leave you alone! Just, don't shoot!"

"Well," The Joker lowered his arm slightly, frowning sympathetically, "I guess I'll consider it."

The guard's eyes grew wide. "Really?"

"No." Joker smiled, pulling the trigger. The man screamed, looking out from behind his hands a moment later to see yellow _BANG_ flag drifting a few inches from his face.

"Sucker!" Joker laughed, waving the flag in the air. The guard looked back and fourth between Joker and Harley, before pushing Joker into the catwalk's rail. As he was about to give him a blow to the head, Harley tiptoed up behind and gave him a tap on the shoulder with one slim finger. The man looked at her and she smiled back, before kicking him over the rail to land with a splat in the chocolate below. 

Joker turned, and he and Harley stared down for a very long moment.

"You're right," said Harley.

"Hmm?" Joker looked up.

"Everythin' _is_ better dipped in chocolate," she shrugged.

Joker laughed, leaning on to the rail to keep steady.

A minute passed, and sun from the skylights above shone softly into the factory, illuminating a balcony, suspended over hazel pools of chocolate, where two clowns stood kissing in a ring of scattered roses.


End file.
